Laptops ahoy!

My birthday is in a few days, but we celebrated it a bit early. My dad got me a laptop! Since it comes with a wireless nic, I can use it on the same internet connection as my computer, which is awesome.

Now, the question is, what do you do with a laptop? Well, I have some answers. I am a writer, but I have terrible handwriting and I write very slowly. I type much faster then I write, close to how fast I think. So! a laptop is perfect, because anytime I want, I can plop down and bang out a few chapters, or put down my thoughts. It is great!

Just gotta be careful I don't drop it. Yikes! Don't want to jinx myself!

Friedship: What is it?

What makes someone a friend? No, seriously, give it some thought. I want no platitudes, or trite answers.

My current life situation has caused me to ask this question. It would seem I have come to a place in my life that I have been in many times. I have no friends. It isn't half as sad as it seems, especially when you consider that, as I have said above, I don't really know what a friend is.

After giving it much thought, and talking it over with my good friend Don, I have decided that I actually do have some friends. It is jut that my definition of friend is different from the reality. So, I have to ask myself, what is a friend, really? When you strip away the emotion of a relationship, what are you left with?

I am a very logical person, and though I accept emotion as real, I don't think it should define reality. There is emotion and then there is reality, and they do not necessarily always agree (I am banging on my keyboard, because it isn't typing all of the letters; that is, the window I am typing into is not capturing all of the letters I type; this is very irritating, as you can imagine).

Back to the question of a friend: Is a friend always just an emotional connection? Can there be logical reasons for being friends? I have always felt (not known, or even thought) that a friend is someone you have an emotional connection to, and that is it. They are someone to be around who is rewarding emotionally. This is why, when someone becomes emotionally unrewarding, I generally let them go. Now, while this may seem heartless, it is often the healthier thing to do.

My friend Blair posits a different understandng of friendship: A friend is an ally, someone who will fight with you against yor mutual enemies. Now, that mutual enemy could be as pedestrian as boredom, or the heat, but it is the enemy that is essential. This may explain why my friendship with Blair has been rocky at times.

Others have led me to understand that people bond together out of a herd instinct. Now, whether you believe that or not, humans are not herd animals. We are predators. It is why our eyes face forward. A pack instinct I could understand better. A group of predators, hungry and lurking. But this leads us back into Blair's belief: The enemies of a group of predators are boredom, hunger, and other predators.

None of that explains the emotional context, however. Why do people like eachother, and decide to share lives together? Why do we need other people? I will post on this more, later.

Get your guns!

The Supreme Court just put out a decision, their first in two centuries concerning the Second Amendment. The Second Amendment is the one that says "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." The Supreme Court, the highest court in the land, has said that law-abiding citizens of the United States of America have a right to own and have guns in their homes for the purposes of self-defense.

The case came out of an appeal filed by a man living in Washington, D. C. Washington, D. C. probably has the most restrictive gun laws in all of America (remarkably, they also have one of the highest crime rates in America, despite having such restrictive gun laws). The man, a guard who lived in the city, requested a permit to own and have a handgun in his home. His petition was rejected, and he appealed the decision. The Court of Appeals agreed with him, and said the city had to give him a permit to own a gun. I am unclear on the other details, however.

What it comes down to is, those cities that have similar, restrictive gun laws, are going to have to relax their restrictions. People in the United States of America have a right to defend themselves and to own guns in their own homes. Deal with it.

Go here to view the story.

Soul searching

My last day is rapidly approaching. I face it with a certain degree of trepidition. I don't quite know what I am going to do after that. That is, I know, but like a man who has fallen off a high cliff, the ground is still a bit too far away to make out clearly. What can I do but fall?

I have heard that it is a good idea to write a eulogy for yourself. There are two methods: What would be said about you if you died tomorrow; and what would you like to be said about you at the end of your life? It gives you perspective, which is a good thing to have.

What would someone say about me? "Here lies Michael, a liar." That is not what I would want, but it would be honest. I want to be honest in everything. Christ was honest, and I want to follow Him. What I want is not always what I want, though.

What would I like said at the end of my life? "Here rests Michael, a follower of Christ." That would be enough. What about, "A loving husband and fater."? Yeah.

Now I have said that, what will it take? Being honest with myself and with my wife and my God seems like a good place to start. I vow to never lie and to always be honest, no matter the consequences, forever. I can already feel my gut twist. I get in far more trouble avoiding trouble than I ever do accepting the trouble in the first place.

So, what happens when I don't want to do something? I talk to my wife about it. If she wants me to do it anyway, I will not lie and say I will do it, and then not do it. I will tell her I am not going to do it, and then accept the consequences. That is how to through life honestly. I need to examine an issue, then determine if not doing it is better than doing it.

It isn't perfect, but it is a start. I will need to do more, but for now, I will keep my expectations low.

Tahoe Lake is really cold

So, last weekend, I got baptised in Meeks Bay in Tahoe Lake. It was actually really amazing. A lot of people from our Church were there, as well as my wife's parents. We took a lot of pictures.

Oh, and Tahoe Lake is really cold! I went into the water a little ways to see how bad it was, and my toes began to hurt! I have never experienced such pain. Well, once when I broke my arm, but this was terrible. Normally, I have a problem going into water that cold. When it came time for me to go out there, I just ran on out. I'm still suprised at myself. When the Pastor dunked me, I floated to the top. He had to dunk me twice, and I almost dragged him under with me.

Of course, it didn't matter that he was spared. The Deacons all ran into the water and dunked him. Someone commented that it wasn't a real baptism, and one of the Deacons pointed out that he had raised his hand. Heh. It was a lot of fun.

What else has happened this week? Let's see, I finally got caught skipping out on classes. It was very painful, but it looks like I'm going to pass at least one of my classes. All I have to do is write a compare and contrast essay before Tuesday. No small feat, but I'm a pretty good writer. As to the other classes, I have no idea, yet. I still have to talk to the Dean of Technologies at the school. We'll see how that goes. Cross your fingers.

Right now, the baby is teething, and crying. Unfortunately, while she is normally a very calm baby, she also has a terrible temper. Once she is in pain, or over-tired, she gets mad. Once she is mad, the tantrums start. She screams, swings her fists around, and generally carries on in a very undignified and unlady-like manner. My wife handles it like a saint (Yes, she reads this post, but I'm being perfectly honest). I, on the other hand, get a little ticked. Together, we deal with it.

Cora gets her temper from me. She gets her willfullness from her mother. She gets her laid-back attitude from me, which is nice. As I said, most of the time she is calm and pleasant, until she gets tired or hurt. Then it is a battle that has only one ending: she falls asleep. Getting her to that point of falling asleep is the trick.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to post as often as I would like. Work, school, the baby, and other matters have drawn me away. Right now, I have to go write that essay. Here goes. More later. Hopefully I pass.

Brain Jello!

So, one of my readers had a problem with brain vomit. I can understand. While it is an excellent name, it is a bit offensive. Now, I don't really mind offending people, but as this person makes up a significant portion of my readership, I figured I should probably do something about it.

So, as suggested by another reader, I have changed the name to Random Thoughts and Brain Jello. I kinda like it. Mmm...brain jello.

Anyway, that's the new title. Enjoy!

The Doctor Steel Show!

So, I want to plug the amazing and brilliant (and mad) Doctor Steel. He wants to take over the world, with robots. It is impossible to overstate the awe and majesty one feels when one comes face to face with the glory of Doctor Steel.

Okay, so maybe it is possible.

Anyway, Doctor Steel is an amazing artist who does concerts. I know of only two concerts he has done so far, but I am looking forward to more. I would love to go to one of his concerts, in fact. Unfortunately, I am cash-impaired at the moment.

The website is wonderful, I suggest you check out the Laboratory (clickable links, hidden in the picture). Watch out for the doll, though. *Shudder*

The basic premise is this: Doctor Steel is a mad toymaker who was fired from his position at a toy factory. Vowing revenge, he sends modified toys to burn down the toy factory. His plan? To make the world happy by giving everyone toys. But first, he has to rule the world. So, his plan is thus: Become rich and famous through rock music; use the money to build robots with laser guns; take over the world. As you can see, this is a fool-proof plan!

Inside the website, you can listen to and buy his music, see some live video clips of his show, and join to become a Toy Soldier, and help Doctor Steel take over the world. Go check it out!

Random Thoughts, refined

I have created another journal, called Musings by a Layman. It can be found here. There, I will be putting up musings on many topics, ranging from psychology to biblical theory to futuristic technologies I hope will be invented. I hope you enjoy it.

Babies are cute?

So, the other day, my wife and I were between social engagements, and she was nursing the baby in the car. The baby is watching her as she nurses and smiling and happy. My wife is watching the baby, and smiling in a motherly fashion.

She suddenly looks over at me and says, "She cuter then she was last week! She wasn't this cute last week."

I had to laugh. I guess babies just grow on you. Ahem, sorry for the pun, but it had to be said.

Brain Vomit

So, my wonderful wife Jessica has given me an idea for a new title of my journal. She asked me to call it "Random Thoughts and Brain Vomit." Which, as you can clearly see, is an awesome title. And so, I'm going to change it.

Also, I am considering making a second journal (have I mentioned how much I abhor the word blog?) with all of my personal Exalted Houserules, Exalted Houserules I've taken from others, Exalted Charms not listed in the books, and Characters I have made. I'll put a link in here somewhere if I decide to do it, so that those who are interested can go check it out.

Also, I'm going to check out getting a counter program, so I can know if anyone is actually viewing this journal. I think I might get more self-conscious if I thought people were. Ah well, if my work suffers, will anyone notice?

Time

It always seems like there is not enough time. Life is the longest thing human beings do, and yet we can never seem to find the time to do everything we want to do.

Which is, of course, just the problem. You can't do everything you want to do. Moreover, if all you ever focus on doing is the stuff you want to do, then you won't take enough time to do the things you have to do. And if you don't do the things you have to do, life will be very hard for you.

Most people take the time to do the things that need doing, and reserve some time to do the things they want to do. This works, but it leaves one feeling that there is not enough time to do the things one wants to do. Of course! Because you are busy doing the things you need to do.

On the other hand, if you change your attitude, and make it so you want to do the things you need to do, then you will take care of the things you need to do, and feel like you have done the things you want to do. Of course, this isn't always easy. But, who said life was supposed to be easy?

What takes up my time? Gaming, reading, watching movies. No, those are the things I want to do. What takes up my time is going to work, going to school, helping my wife with our baby girl, and going to church. Also, meeting with our friends for social functions.

I need to alter my attitude, so that I want to do the things I need to do. It has worked before, and I am sure it will work again. We'll see how successful I am.

AUGH!

Many of you probably have never held a baby while it is screaming at the top of its lungs.

This is good.

I, however, have held a baby that was screaming at the top of its lungs.

I am scarred.

The other day, I was holding my daughter while my wife was getting ready for bed. Well, baby-girl didn't like the fact that mama wasn't there, and she let me have it. I can still hear the ringing, when it is quiet. I got frustrated, and finally just laid her across my legs and put my hands behind my head. I couldn't take it anymore. But, my wife couldn't hear me calling to her, so I just waited until she came back in the room. After a little while, she came in and took the baby from me, giving me a tired and sympathetic look.

Ah yes, the joys of parenting. I love my little girl, she is so cute. Everyone says she looks just like me, which is strange. I can't see it. I know for a fact I'd make an ugly woman, so I kinda feel sorry for the tyke. But, when she's screaming away, I just don't know what to do! I hold her, try to comfort her, but the fact is, I am the source of her crying.

Nothing I do at the moment will comfort her. I have accepted this, now. I will wait until she is of such an age that she will recognize that she doesn't have to be held by her mama every second of every day.

Babies. Yeesh.

The metaphysics of human interaction

So, my day went really well. I slept in (Yay!) and then I got a shower. I got to play with my baby girl a bit, and then we went to my parent-in-laws' place. Which is always fun, because they have a fabulous home.

While there, I helped my father-in-law install some new lighting out front. Really, most of the work was already done, as my good friend Shawn was already there. I did help, though!

Afterwards, we had a good day of playing games and talking. One particular game was a lot of fun! It's called the Wrong Game, and it focuses on being wrong. That's right! Err, wrong. Anyway, you get a list of five questions that you have to answer wrongly. You get a point for each wrong answer, and five points if you get them all before the buzzer goes off. We didn't bother with the points, and after a while we ignored the buzzer. It was just a lot of fun to see what kinds of answers people would give to the most obvious questions.

"Who is the governor of this state?"

"You are!"

Much fun was had by all. Then, Shawn began to talk to Stephanie (My sister-in-law) about whether or not she meets a lot of athiests at her work. Now, it is important to note what she does. Stephanie is a post-graduate working on her doctorate in physical chemistry. Or chemical physics. Errm. Whatever.

Her answer to Shawn's question was that it rarely ever comes up in conversation. This lead into an interesting statement she made about people interacting. To sum it up, when two people are arguing diametrically opposed viewpoints, if neither person is willing to see where the other is coming from, there can be no communication. They set up a wall between them that neither of them is willing to cross, and which stays between them, preventing any kind of meaningful conversation.

To be specific, in the Evolution vs. Creationism debate, the argument often goes like this:

Creationist: So, the way it works is, God Created everything, and that is where things came from.

Evolutionist: But, there is no god. So, there must be another explanation.

Creationist: No, there is a God, you just don't believe in Him.

Evolutionist: What are you talking about? We happened because of a series of, as yet unexplained coincidences.

Creationist: Oh? So, what you are saying is, you have faith that this unexplained set of coincidences happened, but you deny my faith that there is a God?

Evolutionist: I don't have faith. I simply know.

And that is where the argument breaks down. Neither side is at all willing to see what the other side is saying, and so they just go around in circles. If you ever want to effectively communicate (and this applies anywhere) then you need to be willing, for just one minute, to say, "Okay, I see where you are coming from, however..." and then explain why you disagree, rather then simply restating your point over and over and over again.

As to myself, I believe that there must be a God. There are many reasons for not believing it, and for not wanting to believe it, and I accept that others may have chosen those reasons. I will not tell them they are wrong. I will tell them that I have made my choice, and explain to them, if they want to know, why I have made that choice. I will even listen while they explain why they have made their choice. All the world will be a better place for it.

Without debate, there can be no communication. For through debate, we define our world. How else could we know what other people were thinking?

Random Thoughts from the past!

So, in an earlier post, I said I would post what I had written down before I created this blog. I will do so, now. Afterwards, a telling of how my day today went, and an interesting conversation I had with my sister-in-law and my good friend.


May 28, 2008

This is just a little letter to put down some thoughts I have been having lately, and maybe to prepare for a coming blog. I don't know what will come of it, just as I don't know what will come of my thoughts. They are recorded here for entertainment and edification purposes. Let's see if it makes any sense.

Is it wrong to hate yourself? I am determined not to delete anything I write, once I put it down, barring only spelling mistakes and editing of sentences for clarification purposes.

It may not make sense, but it is my mind, and if you don't like it, you don't have to read it.
So, today, I read quite a bit of interesting material. I am an avid reader of Techdirt, and love most of what is coming out of there. I also read JTHM (Those of you who are fans will know, the rest will either search it or don't really need to know anyway). What astounds me is not that someone would write such filth, but why no one has done it before (of course, others have written things like this before, and it was quite well accepted). I love it, myself. Sometimes I feel like that. Sometimes.

There is a current debate raging on concerning gay marriage. I just want to go on record as saying I am against it, though not necessarily for the reason you may think. I may expound upon my reasons later, but that is not the purpose of this writing.

So, back to my question: Is it wrong to hate yourself? I can see no reason why it would be. You can hate other people and not harm them, so of course you should be able to hate yourself and not harm yourself. However, it is true that hating other people may not harm them, but it does harm you. So, does hating yourself hurt other people? Probably not. It probably hurts you as much as it would hurt if you hated someone else.

Remind me later to explain my theories involving a Higher Power and morality at large. Also, social contracts. That should be a lot of fun.

In any case, it is getting way late. I need to head off to bed with my lovely wife. That is, if I can make sure there are no spiders in or around the bed. Our daughter is being very irritating as well. It is driving us up the wall, but hey, gotta love her, right? I'll talk more later.

Work, work, work

Have you ever read JTHM? I suggest you do, if you enjoy sick and twisted things (And who doesn't?). I also highly recommend Invader Zim! In fact, just about anything by Jhonen Vasquez.

So, right now I am at work. I am typing on my break, in order to keep myself sane!

Let me tell you a little about my office and a little about my job. I work for the Governor's Office of Emergency Services (Soon to be renamed the Office of Emergency Services and Homeland Security, or some such). That's right, I work for the Governator! Well, not really. I am doing cost-share merging right now. I am a paper-pusher.

But, back to what I was saying: The Office of Emergency Services (OES) is a California State Agency run on Federal rules. Basically, we are here to help out if a real disaster happens (No, the next door neighbor's dog ruining your petunias is not a disaster). Let me explain, in short, the process that all states must go through, as figured out by the Federal Government.

When a disaster happens (Such as an earthquake knocking your house off it's foundations, or a flood ruining your decor) then the person, agency, or business puts in a request for aid with their local government (City or County). If the disaster is widespread and costly enough, the local government may not be able to handle it themselves. And so, they ask for help from their Region. There are three Regions: Coastal, which takes care of most of the northern coast; Inland, which takes care of most of the Central Valley and Northern California, all the way over to the border with Nevada; and Southern California, which requires no explanation, really.

When the Region gets the request for aid from the local government, they assess the disaster, and begin to help out. By coordinating resources from various counties and cities to help out, they can bring a larger grouping of resources to bear upon a local problem. They also provide aid in the form of money to help rebuild, and to help mitigate disasters (That is, make the area safer, for the next time this happens). If the disaster is large enough, or costly enough (or if it goes across two or more Regions) then the Region will call upon the Governor to declare a State Emergency. Once that happens, OES takes over and begins coordinating a wider set of resources, even getting help from other states through the EMAC.

Now, if OES realizes there is no way they can handle what is going on, the Governor asks the President to declare a National Emergency. At that point, The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is called upon to assist.

Now, how this relates to my job: When FEMA and OES work together, there is a lot of duplicate paperwork. It has been accruing for years. I am here to get rid of the duplicate paperwork and pare down our shelf space. So, now you know: I am a paper-pusher.

Edit: I got Jhonen Vasquez's name wrong! I am such a disloyal fan. Corrected for spelling.

Yeesh.

Who could possibly have thought it would be so difficult to create a good blog. Not that I'm complaining, the tools around here are pretty amazing. And it's not like I have a lot of reference.

So, I noticed that the word Random in my original blog was wrong! It read ramdon. How ridiculous is that. I couldn't find out how to change it (I don't yet know if it can be changed, we'll see) so I just copied and pasted the original post into this new blog (with a corrected name, whee!).

As I said before, I am currently in English class. I'm probably going to get into trouble, because rather then writing my essay draft, I am typing here and talking to you people. This would normally be considered a really bad thing, except that I know something many don't.

Did you know, many authors feared and hated the act of writing! No, that is wrong. They did not hate writing, they hated starting. Go ahead, look it up. Sometimes I feel that if I never start, I won't screw anything up, and I'm not alone. Eventually, after much effort, I will begin. Once that part is over (the hard part, as they say) then I become a veritable FOUNTAIN of words, that tumble over eachother getting to the page.

I love writing, but I hate starting to write. Isn't that terrible? In any case, as you can see from the relative length of my posts (relative, because I only have two just yet), once I get started I tend to ramble on and on.

Don't worry, the quality of my posts has GOT to get better. It can't possibly be worse. Or can it....

Anyway, back to class.

Hurray!

So, this is my blog! I'm just starting with blogging, so please bear with me. Yesterday, I wrote down some of my random thoughts and I liked it so much, I decided I'd put it online. Because everyone should know what I'm thinking (even if it does drive them a bit insane).

Basically, I'm going to post what I wrote down yesterday (when I get home, because I don't have it with me right now: I'm in school). Then, every day or so, I'm going to try to put something else up. I have no idea what I'm going to write with all of this, but who knows. It could be fun.

That's right, I'm Mikey (actually, I prefer Michael, but whatever). I'm a little crazy, a little funny, and a lot of odd. I hope you enjoy reading this (all one of you).

Let's see...oh yes! The reason for the Hurray! as the title! I found my Flash Drive! I'm so happy, because I actually thought I had left it at school. That would have sucked so bad, I was trying not to even think about it. Turns out, I left it at my dad's house. Whew! I'll be using the Drive to transport my writings around with me, where ever I go, so that I can put them up here. Afterall, it wouldn't be a random collection of my thoughs if it was something I came up with at one time, every day, and prepared for it all day.

I intend to never delete any of my posts. Hopefully that will work, but it may not. I also don't intend to ever delete a sentence, once I have completed it. Barring spelling errors or rewrites, that is.

Also, I really don't mind if you go over my work with a fine-tooth comb and proofread it. It won't bother me one bit, so go right ahead. I will try to make sure that I never have any spelling mistakes, but I type pretty fast, and I sometimes make typos.

Newsflash: I'm not perfect.

Talk about your random thoughts. Yeesh.

A little about myself: I am 30 years old, soon to be 31, I have a wife, two cars, a cat, and a baby-girl! My wife's name is Jessica, and my daughter's name is Cora. I'll post pictures of them, later. I am a Christian, and so much of what I may say on here will have a Christian perspective (I am open to your views on it, however, as long as you discuss in an intelligent manner). I have done some bad things in my life, and I have done some good things in my life. I am not unique, except for certain powers of unique, and I don't feel entitled to anything. I both like and dislike human beings, and I am fairly laid back, except in my car. I am NOT fashionable, nor have I any desire to be.

It is hard to describe yourself! Who really thinks about it?

I am a writer of sci-fi, fantasy (not published yet) and poetry. I am a thinker (introvert) and I spend most of my time contemplating things. This is possible because I think about things while I am doing other things, like driving, working, or singing in the shower. This will come as no suprise to those who know me: I LOVE EXALTED! I post on the forums there (I am known as michael.talpas there too).

So, I think that is about it. Loved talking with you, and maybe I'll make another post after this one. Talk to you later!